Light show!

Wow! There were some pretty powerful thunderstorms that rolled through here this afternoon. We were sitting in the office listening to crashes that turned out to be thunder, and yet the sky above us was still bright and blue. As I drove home under a sky that was more blue than gray, I could see cloud to ground lightening strikes that looked to be not too far away.

I love watching storms, and yet I hope for good biking weather. Those two things don't go together at the same time!

Twelve weeks? It's hard to believe...

...that it's been 12 weeks since that fateful day when my bike and I did a flip on the way to work. I've published a journal of my crash and my journey back to me - and I'm still on that journey. You can read it at denisegoldberg2004crash.blogspot.com.

Sleep, sleep, no sleep!

I really wish I had control over my body, but since my little crash of May 20th it seems to want to get more sleep than it's getting. As in, I appear to need at least 9 hours of sleep a night, but most nights I'm fighting to get eight! This week is a good - or should I say bad - example. On Monday night, the last time I remember looking at the clock it was just before 2AM, and I woke up at 7. Five hours is not good. The next two nights I managed about seven hours of sleep, and as a result I've been pretty tired today. I wonder if my exhaustion level at this moment means I'll finally get a good night's sleep tonight...

Walking morning and night...

I'm still not back to my normal level of cycling, but I have been managing to walk in the morning and in the evening - with my work hours sandwiched in between. Squirrels, chipmunks, and rabbits are there for my viewing enjoyment, and I have to say that the rabbits make me laugh. Recently I saw a pair of them chasing each other around in circles!

It's 4 o'clock in the morning...

...and I've been wide awake since 2. This really isn't a good way to satisfy my body's craving for sleep! It's really odd - I've been having trouble falling asleep almost since my accident, but over the last few days I thought it was getting better. But waking up at 2am after only 3 1/2 hours of sleep - and staying awake - is not a good sign. I'm going to go try to fall asleep again, but I have my doubts about whether my body will cooperate. I wonder how my Saturday will turn out with a definite sleep deficit...

On the good news front, that dizziness I was experiencing yesterday seems to be gone. Here's hoping that it stays gone once the daylight rolls around. I was hoping to get a bike ride in today, but as of right now the rain is pouring down. The forecast doesn't sound totally dismal - hopefully once the daylight shows up and once I get my morning fix of watching the final time trial of the Tour de France (live) I'll be able to spend some time in the afternoon on one of my two-wheeled cycles. Here's to hope!

Another dizzy day...

Today was another one of those dizzy days - not as bad as last Wednesday, but dizzy nonetheless. I felt like I could drive, so I headed to the office hoping it would go away. Not today... I guess that means I won't be riding my bike after I'm done with work for the day.  Work time? Well, I stayed in the office for all of three hours before the dizziness kind of freaked me out. I headed home, but I'll be putting in some more time this afternoon. On these dizzy days, I'd prefer to finish work at home so I don't get to a point at which I shouldn't be driving.

I really wish I knew what caused these days... and whatever it is, here's hoping that they disappear soon!

I thought I was light-headed, but it turns out....

...that I'm really dizzy! I went to see my doctor this week, and it turns out that what I was describing as lightheadedness is really dizziness or vertigo. I guess I should have known that... Does that mean that I'm a dizzy broad?

(Sorry, I didn't really mean that - I typically don't use the word broad to describe a woman. The combination of the two words just makes me laugh!)

And a short step backwards...

...at least if seems that way. On the good days, bad days front, unfortunately today was one of the bad ones. I woke up this morning feeling extremely light-headed, and that feeling has pretty much persisted all day. I have to say I feel better now (in the late afternoon) than I felt this morning, but I'm still not back to what (in today's version of my world) passes for normal. I really wish I could see the pattern. I don't have too many of these days, but I can't figure out what causes them. My guess is lack of sleep or not eating the right food - but I had plenty of sleep last night, and I'm really paying attention to eating the right food, both the amount and the nutritional value. I'm baffled...

Here's hoping that tomorrow is closer to a normal day!

Slow steps forward...

I'm still having good days and bad days, although the good ones outnumber the bad ones by far. I think my biggest problem is my own impatience and desire to be back to the normal version of Denise. While I know that full recovery will take a while, I've been pushing myself - from an exercise standpoint at least - to try to see continued improvement. I was up to walking an hour to an hour and a half a day. Then I added in biking - and oops! forgot to decrease the amount of walking I was doing. I fixed that problem, and I've been doing a much better job of balancing those two activities along with working (part-time still), eating, and sleeping. But I'm still impatient!

I guess I want those slow steps forward to move a lot faster!

Mass General may be a world class hospital...

...but their attention to patients after discharge leaves something to be desired. I was supposed to see a neurosurgeon 4 weeks after discharge from the hospital. The appointment was actually made for 5 weeks after discharge, and it was supposed to be last week. It was cancelled by the doc due to emergencies, a perfectly valid reason. As you know if you've read my blog entry from last week, my replacement appointment was another two weeks out (since the doc only has office hours one day a week!), and I wasn't too happy about the delay. Today I almost went through the roof when I listened to a phone message from the doc's office after I got home from my morning at my own office. That message said that my new appointment was scheduled for August 12th, and that if I had problems and needed to be seen before that I should go to the emergency room at MGH. As it turns out, the doc's office made a mistake and somehow scheduled two appointments for me, so I'm still on for late next week. That's a relief to me. And although they don't know it, I'm sure it's also a relief for the doc's office because I was definitely not going to accept a change from an appointment on July 1st (the originally scheduled time) to August 12th without making some noise and complaining to the hospital and anywhere else I could figure out that made sense.

How long was I supposed to stay off of a bicycle?

Well, I tried to wait until I got an OK from the neurosurgeon, I really did. But that was pretty much doomed when my appointment for this past week was canceled and rescheduled for two weeks out. I've been walking pretty steadily, but that's really not enough. I feel much improved, although not back to normal yet. So yesterday I gave in...

Yesterday I started the day by taking my Pocket Rocket - the bike I was riding in the accident - in to my favorite bike shop to be repaired. And by the way, there really was little damage to the bike. Once the shift/brake levers were pushed back into the normal position on the bar, everything was working fine. They are going to repair the flat tire, and since I was about to take that bike in for a tune-up before the crash, it's getting a tune-up now. The other important thing I did was to buy a new helmet.

As I came home, I was still waiting until my doctor's appointment.

I watched the prologue of the Tour de France on television. Then I went for a walk into Andover and back again - about 4 miles total. Then I sat around for a bit. Ate an early dinner. Still feeling restless, and the days are long. So - at 6pm my bike and I headed out the door for my first ride since the accident. I managed at 13 mile ride at about a 13 miles per hour pace - slow, but respectable for a first ride. I'm a happy cyclist!

And - I didn't feel that (previously broken) pelvic bone complain while I was on the ride. It was a bit sore when I got off of the bike and started walking around the house - but that's what ibuprofen is for, right?

I repeated the ride today. Well, first I went for a hike with some friends for about an hour and a half. Then we had lunch. Then I took a shower to wash off the bug spray we had to use to stop the ever-biting mosquitos in the woods, then reapplied my heavy-duty sunscreen. And then - I went for another bike ride - 19 miles this time. I have to admit I was moving very slowly today. I can blame some of the slowness on a headwind, but some was probably just me. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Am I doing damage to my still injured head? I don't think so, but i have to admit that the swollen spot above my right eye was a bit annoyed and seemed to be more swollen at the end of the ride. Hmmm... well, now that I've started riding again I don't think I can stop...

I was hoping to see the neurosurgeon today

...but I received a phone call cancelling my appointment about 20 minutes before I was about to walk out the door. I was told that there are multiple emergency surgeries that the doc is involved in today. OK, shit happens. But as of the cancellation phone call I don't have another appointment. Apparently the practice is to call everyone and cancel today's appointments, and then call everyone back and make new appointments. Am I missing something here? This doesn't make any sense to me...

It's amazing how expensive....

...healthcare is. I received a bill from a lawyer's office that apparently works with Lawrence General Hospital to collect money from patients. Luckily for me they incorrectly had the bill indicating that it was an auto accident, which apparently makes the auto insurance company the primary payor and the health insurance company the secondary payor. I called to get this straightened out and to have the Lawrence General Hospital bills forwarded to Blue Cross. Actually I think Blue Cross already has part of the bill based on a conversation I had with the ambulance company who took me from the hospital to the hospital's helipad. But I digress. I spoke with Blue Cross too and in the process was told the total amount they'd been billed so far from Mass General Hospital. Wow! The Lawrence General Hospital bill was for $6400, and that can be added to the Mass General bill of $42,000. To say nothing of the bill from Spaulding Rehab. And not to mention the individual doctor's bills!

It's amazing how expensive healthcare is - and I have to say I'm very happy that I have good insurance. I can't imagine having to pay bills this large when I didn't expect them in the first place. I really didn't plan to crash my bicycle and to end up with such interesting injuries. Interesting to the docs, perhaps - I really could have done without them!

Still walking, no biking yet

It's been just over 5 weeks since my somewhat spectacular crash. My body has been taking baby steps at getting better even though my mind wants to take giant steps. But baby steps have to do for now. I'm walking every day - two to three times a day for 20 to 30 minutes each. The othopedic doc told me yesterday that as far as my bones are concerned I can get back on a bike - although he said he didn't think sitting on a bicycle seat would feel too good right now - but he also cautioned that I need to talk with the neurolgist first. That makes sense (even though I don't want it to!) and I'll be seeing the neurosurgeon on July 1st. In the meantime I'll just keep moving my feet against the pavement...